Willow and Buffy were walking through the dark streets of Sunnydale, hand in hand, after having just come back from a night of fun in the cemetery. It had been a slow night, only three vamps, three beginners that provided more amusement than fear with their "I'm gonna kill you," threats. Freshman, always so full of themselves Willow thought as she remembered the newbies' arrogance. Of course , she alone would never have a chance against any of them, but that was why Buffy was The Slayer and she was the genius sidekick. Buffy slayed and she stood back, coming up with the ideas. We work well that way, she concluded, a small smile making a way across her lips.
The girls, each lost in their own little world, were quietly heading towards the dorm, where they'd have their usual Willow/Buffy night. They had created this Willow/Buffy night thing after Oz left, Buffy was trying to cheer Willow up, planning things that we would do during the day, how we were going to spend the night and stuff like that. After that it just caught on, and without them even realizing we had made of that Friday nights their little tradition. This Friday they had decided to stay in, they would go on patrol and them order something and watch a few movies that had been chosen earlier that day. To many people it would be considered a common thing, nothing really big, but to them it was extremely important. These moments gave them a chance to relax, be themselves, and get a little closer.
It had taken them less than a year to become best friends, true best friends. Since the day they met their relationship had changed, evolved, until they finally got to the point that they were now. They had fought, suffered, passed through some hard times, but they survived, and with each challenge their bound only got stronger. Willow had never had that before , not even with Xander. Something like what she and Buffy had, Willow had come to realize, didn't happen very often, just to a feel luck individuals, and she was one of these few. When she was with Xander she felt safe, loved, she knew she could trust him and that he would give his life for her in a heart beat, but it was not the same thing. Buffy made her feel all those things, and more. With Buffy she could be herself, she could do and say things that even Xander would find a little unusual. Buffy had come into her life and had made her see things that she had never thought about before. Not only she changed Willow but allowed herself to be changed by Willow. They had become a part of each other, a part that they would never let go. There was only a little problem in all this: the love. As the time passed and these changes took place, something else was also transforming inside them, albeit a little slowly, but in a way that would turn their lives upside down. Their hugs, that before had been a source of comfort now stirred a storm of emotions inside of them, the friendly touches caused a swift increase in their heart beat, the smiles now had the power to make the worst of days a little brighter and the their eyes became some kind of mirror to their souls, showing all these changes that were occurring between the two of them in a simple glance.
Buffy could still remember the moment she realized that Willow had stopped being only her best friend to become something else, something far more complicated. They were at their room, Willow in the computer and Buffy reading a book in her bed. It was an ordinary moment, but all of the sudden, as Buffy looked up from her book and glanced at her best friend, everything changed. At the moment she didn't know why she was looking, she only knew that the moment her eyes fell upon Willow something inside her clicked. It was like from that moment on she had become hyper aware when it came to Willow. Images of the hacker, of them, started running through her head, moments that until a few minutes ago were considered meaningless were seeing in a whole new light, gained a whole new perspective.
The hug they shared after The Slayer came back from her 'I-sent-Angel-to-hell-so-I got-to-run-away' trip, the hurt look in her eyes when she thought that she was being replaced by Faith, the pain that cursed through Buffy's entire body when she saw Vamp-Willow and the joy she felt when she saw the real Willow, the willingness she felt in exchanging the future of the world for Willow , these and a lot other moments were seem with another set of eyes. Buffy dind't know if it could be considered the eyes of someone in love, but she liked to think of it like that As these thoughts of her friend ran trough Buffy's head she kind of disconnected herself from the outside world. She was no longer looking at that Willow that was sitting on the computer, even though her unblinking eyes were giving this impression, she was looking at a Willow from other times. The Slayer couldn't really explain, but it was like she was not looking at the physical Willow, but at what she was, what she meant to Buffy.
Buffy knew she shouldn't be surprised , some would say it was right under her nose, but in that moment she realized that Willow was the most important person in her life, the one she cared about the most, the one she. . . the one she loved more deeply. Her thoughts went back to when she first met the redhead, so shy, ready to help, from the first time Buffy saw her she felt something growing inside her heart, some kind of love, not passionate love, but still a very strong love that has only grown over the years. So much has changed since them. Don't get me wrong, she's still the helpful girl she was back them, but she's no longer that shy girl that couldn't talk to boys and that seemed to accept everything others seemed to throw at her. She's Willow Rosenberg now, a brave, intelligent , self-confident strong women , and even if she sometimes reverts back to her old self, it's only for a few minutes, and then she's back to being this wonderful woman that she is. Buffy's best friend, and the person whom, she realized with a start, had made her way to my heart and fixed permanent location.
Oh, the 'I'm in love with her' bit was quite interesting. Buffy was there, trying to understand why she was having these thoughts, why her mind was being filled with Willow related things when she heard Willow's voice calling out to her. Apparently she had noticed The Slayer's distracted state, because the next thing Buffy knew the hacker was sitting by her side, a concerned look on her face, waving her hand in front of of the other girl. Buffy came back to reality and that's when the fun started. She was a little disoriented at first , so she just lowered her head and rubbed her eyes, trying to get a grip. Willow delicately put her hand on The Slayer's arm, and the second that Willow's bare skin touched hers, Buffy felt a torrent of emotions running through her body. Her heart started beating faster, her skin got all warm, hands all sweaty and she felt her soul fill with love. She didn't want to believe, she couldn't believe . She thinks a few things about her best friend , remembers a few moments, and boom, she was in love . That was not possible , things didn't happen like that , not in real life, anyway, besides, she loved Angel , right? That's what she kept telling herself, as if she wished really hard things would go back to the way they were, but all of this was useless. When I finally raised her head and her eyes found Willow's she realized that it was possible , it was true, but most importantly, it was there for quite some time, she just hadn't allowed herself to see it, to feel it, not until now.
Buffy didn't sleep that night. The first few hours she just lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling, and in her minds eyes she saw them, she remembered the things they went trough together, how they, no matter what , always were there for each other. It was kind of interesting actually, she always knew that they would stick together but now this knowledge gave her some sort of comfort. It was like a guaranty that their friendship would last forever, no matter how she dealt with these feelings.
Buffy was brought back from her own little world when she heard Will murmur something and then turn to her side. She turned her attention to Willow. She looked like a little angel, her little angel. Face all relaxed, a smile playing on the corner of her lips, hands under her cheek and body all curled up. Sure, Buffy had seen Willow sleeping tons of times, but she never really SAW it. To Buffy , Willow was, at that moment, the picture of perfection. All The Slayer could think of was how much she wanted to be that blanket, how she wished to wrap her arms around the other girl, keep her safe and warm, how she longed to feel the warmth of the redhead. . . , how much too wanted to be loved by Willow.
That was about two months ago, since then so much has happened, Buffy slept with Parker, became CaveSlayer, Oz and Willow broke up, Spike tried to bite Willow, Spike became their ally, they learned that some kind of military group seems to have watched too much movies about secret projects and decided to create their own, Hellmouth style, she went to see Angel, it was a busy period, Buffy was glad for that. It gave her things to think about, non-Willow related things. The first few days after she learned about the new turn the feelings she had for her best friend had taken she started acting in very un-Buffy like way. She avoided Willow and the others, took a lot of time coming back from patrol so her friend would already be asleep and always left before Will woke up, things. Needless to say Willow soon noticed and even called Buffy on it.
She was all unsure at first, not really knowing how to start, but then her resolve face took place and she went on with it. She sat down beside Buffy, took her friend's hand in hers and gave it a little kiss. The Slayer, extremely surprised, just looked at her with an astonished look on my face, but she just looked right back , without saying a word for a few minutes.
"Buffy, I've spent the entire afternoon researching what I was going to tell you once you got here, I even wrote it down, see," she said, pointing to a paper that was neatly folded over her desk. Buffy took a quick look them turned back to face her. She knew that Willow was probably going to complain about the way she had being avoiding her, and as much as The Slayer hated to admit it, a part of her had a certain pleasure on that. It was nice to know that Willow cared, that she was missed. But all those thoughts were quickly swept away as she caught that stern look on the redhead's face. She continued on, "We've been best friends for almost four years now. We tell each other everything, or at least I like to think so. We know each other secrets, but more importantly, we know each other. So, as someone who knows you I know that you have a problem, and I also know that the problem has something to do with me." Buffy was about to interrupt her, to deny it, but she just put her fingers over soft lips and whispered in a low voice" Shh, please, let me finish."
"You don't need to deny it, in fact, you shouldn't deny it, seeing as we both know that I'm right. Buf, I'm not here to accuse you or to try to force you to tell me something you don't want to. What I'm here for is to tell you is that no matter what it is that is making you feel that you have to avoid me can't really be that bad. And even if it is, I know that we will be able to go through it, together, just like always. I love you, nothing you can say or do will ever change that."
Buffy couldn't hold it any longer, she gave up and let the tears fall down, burning her cheeks. She felt strong arms wrapping around her, a soft hand patting her hair while reassuring words were whispered in her ear. Willow loved her, She loved her. Maybe not in the same way Buffy loved her friend, but maybe it was all she could ever get, and she was going to cherish it. After that they just lay in bed, just holding each other. Buffy didn't tell Willow her secret, she still wasn't ready, but Willow understood, and for awhile everything went back to normal. Well, not really normal, but as close to it as they could ever get in Sunnyhell.
Then came Parker. Buffy didn't really know why, maybe because he was there, maybe because she wanted to forget about Angel, Willow, everything, she only knew that she had ended up sleeping with him. After that she finally learned that men don't have to be demons to mistreat you after they get what they want, and that vampires and other creatures of the night aren't the only ones without a soul.
Oh, and let's not forget the return the Slayer had to her origins. That experience would make a good book, if she could actually could remember anything about it. The only thing Buffy did remember was spending the entire Saturday afternoon trying to erase the drawings from the walls. She even tried to ask the others about it, but all they said was that she was a aggressive but loyal Neanderthal. She would even accept this explanation, it was not like she really needed to know, but there was something that really got to her. Every time she talked to Willow about that period or asked her things she blushed and got all nervous. Buffy had a really bad feeling about that, especially considering that after everyone was gone the only ones that were left were the two of them, alone, in their room. Well, she'd just have to wait and see if she could remember with time, Giles said that sooner or later these memories would end up coming back.
All these were quite important events, events that made Buffy forget about things, at least for awhile. But it didn't last long, Oz and Willow broke up, Oz went away and she was left with a depressed and heartbroken Willow. As some would say, that that was coming for a long time, as much as you try to avoid something, it will always come back to haunt you. And that's exactly what happened to them. The werewolf issue was going to pop up sooner or later, and as it always happen on the Hellmouth, it brought on death and other disastrous consequences. Oz gave in to his animal instincts and they both had to deal with the results of it. Willow was devastated, she trusted Oz, and even though she, deep inside, knew it was not really his fault, she still felt a little betrayed, not for the cheating, but because he left her. When Buffy learned that Oz had cheated her friend, that he had caused Willow, her Willow to suffer to the point that she almost let herself be killed made the Slayer want to kill him.
She liked Oz, she really did, but things had been different for some time. He was no longer 'Oz, Willow's boyfriend and nice guy' he had become 'Oz, Willow's boyfriend that keeps her away from me, that kisses the lips I should be kissing, holds the hands I should be holding. . . ' kind of person, and I had a problem with that. But Buffy lived with it, he made Willow happy and that was all that mattered to her. Some may think that she's just being the jealous girl, but Buffy was glad he had left. She lost a friend, Willow lost the person she loved, but it was all for the best. Willow and Oz had went ahead in their relationship without realizing that there were still things to be worked out, matters to be settled , and no matter how hard they tried, they could never deal with the past and present at the same time. Now, Willow is alone again and she now has to learn how to go on. Buffy only hoped she could help her friend in that process.
Well, needless to say, that breakup put a new twist in Buffy and Willow's relationship. Buffy was not very proud of it, but there were times, the smallest of the moments, that she was glad that all these things happened. She knew it was pretty selfish of her, that there were people suffering, but every time she spent with Willow, every time her friend rested her head on her shoulder and fell asleep, every time she was able to make her smile , it was like a dream coming true. In these moments she truly let go, she let herself love Willow freely, without thinking about what may happen, only savoring the moment.
For quite awhile, Willow was the picture of someone who had lost the love of a lifetime. She refused to eat, to go out, went to bed early and it was extremely hard to get her to smile. It pained Buffy to see her like that, not only because she had to watch the person she was in love with mourn over someone else, but mostly because The Slayer hated see her friend like that, she'd do anything she could to make her happy again, but unfortunately when it comes to love time is the only medicine. And that's what happened, time passed and day by day Willow started realizing that things were the way they were, and that she could do was move forward. And she did just that.
Bit by bit the old Willow start surfacing again. The smiles were there again, the bitter thoughts were all gone, that happiness that was typical of Willow was back, and all were really glad for that. In the end they had gotten their old Willow back, this time for good. Sure, there are a few times when she thinks about Oz and gets a little sad, but the thoughts she had now aren't the same ones she had back them. It probably doesn't make any sense, at least not to most people, but the truth was that Willow was more sad over the fact that she didn't was as sad as she was supposed to be than because Oz had left her. She missed Oz , but she missed him as you miss someone that protects you, that keeps you safe, that was there with you all the time, not like you'd miss someone that was as close to her as he was supposed to be. It's a little insane, but living in a Hellmouth does that to you.
Things passed very quietly after that, supernatural attacks, vamps to slay, nothing really out ordinary, at least not on the saving the world part of Buffy's life. Now, her personal life was a whole other story. She had this guy interested on her--not really her type, she was more into redheads lately-- she had an Angel flashback, oh, yeah, and Willow and her had grown a lot closer. No, they didn't shared any smoochies or anything like that, not yet anyway, but Buffy was really considering the idea of talking to her friend about that. What they did do was spend a lot of time together, studying, goofing, slaying, everywhere one went the other went too. It may seem a little boring, but to Buffy it was a bliss. It was like she finally had a chance to see this side of Willow that she had never had the opportunity to see before. A side that that not even Willow knew she had. They got to the point that they didn't even have to talk to each other , they could tell what the other was thinking or feeling just by looking at their face. It was an overwhelming experience, and one Buffy was happy to share with Willow.
It wasn't long before the others started noticing the changes in their relationship, maybe they were aware of it before the two of them. First they started giving hints--well, pretty direct ones in Anya's case--about how the two of them were spending so much time together, then came the comments about how , as of late, they had adopted a touchy behavior. Well, that was also true. Since this bounding started they had gotten a little bolder.
Buffy started it. First with small gestures, like holding hands, and stuff like that, then, when illow didn't pull away she went a little further, and instead of holding hands she started putting her arm around Willow's waist, pulling the other girl a little closer. From that on things got a little more intimate, they had clearly become the perfect picture of the couple in love. Everybody could see it, but they would never address the matter. Well, until now.
"So, do you sense anything?" Willow finally asked, interrupting the course of their thoughts and breaking the silence.
"Not a soul in sight."
"Well, that doesn't really mean anything. Most of the creatures that wander around Sunnydale at night are soul-less vampires or creatures in general," Willow answered, a smile playing in the corner of her lips.
"You've got a point, " Buffy said, grinning. "But you know what I mean. . . . "
"Yeah, I know, I'm just giving you a hard time," she told the other girl. "So, what you're thinking about? You seem kind of distant."
"I-I. . . I was just thinking. . . thinking about. . . a-about. . . "Buffy trailed off. I was thinking about what it would be like to kiss you right here, right now, I'm thinking about how much I love, how I want to go to sleep and wake with you in my arms every day, I'm thinking how I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that's what I'm thinking. She wanted to say these things to her friend, she really did, but she just couldn't bring herself to it. She couldn't risk what they had, so she just did what she could do, she lied. "I was just thinking about Hellmouthy stuff, it's not really important," the Slayer said, not bringing herself to look at her friend's face.
"Oh, " Willow knew that Buffy was not telling the truth, every time that Buffy avoided her gaze it meant that she was hiding something, and this time it was not different. "Well, if you want to talk about it or anything else that may be bothering you, just know that I'm here, ready to listen" she continued, looking at her friend.
"I know, It's nothing really , but thanks anyway," the Slayer said softly, casting a quick glance towards her friend.
They continued their walk in silence for a few minutes, neither sure of what to say , but both quite aware that this in nothing resembled the comfortable silent moments that were so usual when they were together. It was Willow that finally broke the silence, asking a question that had being hunting her thoughts since her best friend started her 'everything-is-ok-and-nothing-is-wrong-with-our-friendship' routine.
" Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you did nothing wrong, no wrong things done by you. In fact, if this was a do nothing wrong contest you would win the first place, " Buffy went on, having no control of the words that were leaving her mouth. She didn't think she could tell the truth, so she did the next best thing, she babbled.
"Buffy, you're babbling. I am the one that usually babbles, remember?" the hacker said with a smirk. " I just asked because it seems like you're avoiding me. Every time I get near you you get all tense. . . and lately it seems like you're hiding something from me, something that may be affecting our friendship," she went on, a hurt tone in her voice.
"What? This isn't avoiding, see. I'm here, you're here. We're here. . . together. And I'm not hiding anything from you, anything that you'd like to know was hidden by me. Nothing at all," Buffy stammered. She was not lying , well, not technically. She was pretty sure that Willow wouldn't like to know about these feelings she was having. "You ask, I answer, you answer , I ask, no hiding. Hiding is bad. It can have lots of consequences, bad consequences. Unless. . You don't think we're suffering any consequences, do you? 'Cause I don't think we're facing any, . . . consequences, I mean. Do you? No, of course you don't, because, there is no hiding, therefore, no consequences, right? Even though. . . " Buffy was about to go on her insane tirade--Anything to get the subject off the real problem--when she felt soft lips pressed against her own.
Buffy didn't really know how that had happened, she was so busy trying to avoid looking at her best friend that she failed to notice that the hacker was advancing towards her, and when she did notice it was already too late, they were already kissing. The lips were soft, caring, warm, and as they moved against hers, Buffy knew for sure that they were Willow's lips. It was only a matter of seconds before she found herself responding, tasting her Willow's lips and slowly taking control of the kiss. One of her hands found the curve of the hacker's neck, pulling the girl even closer, while the other one gently traced the curves of the redhead's body. Her lips dueled with Willow's as they sought each other's mouths, as if they were trying to become one being. Her tongue caressed Willow lips , and with the eagerness of an adventurer that has just found some new, uncharted territory she made her way inside the other girls mouth, exploring caressing, loving. She just couldn't get enough.
Willow didn't really knew what had come over her, one minute she was listening to Buffy talk, then the next one she found herself suddenly overwhelmed with an uncontrollable urge to kiss her best friend, to taste those lips that she had longed for so long. And that's what she did. Forgetting about all her concerns and all the consequences that this act could bring, she kissed her Buffy. The second her lips touched Buffy's she felt something inside of her click, and as she lightly sucked on the Slayer's lips the only thing she could think of was how right that felt. Her arms found their way around the other girl's waist, pulling her close. She felt Buffy start to respond and relaxed, letting her take the lead. A soft moan escaped her lips as the Slayer's tongue penetrated her mouth. The kiss went on for long moments, neither of them wanting to let go, bout both knowing that they had to catch some air. So Willow softly untangled their tongues, slowly breaking the kiss, but still keeping a tight hold on Buffy's waist, their foreheads touching.
Buffy couldn't believe what had just happened, Willow, her best friend Willow, the girl she had been pining over for months , Willow had just kissed her, and not just a friendly kiss, but a passionate, 'if I could I'd have you right here' kind of kiss. For a few seconds after they broke apart she thought that it had been all a dream, that something like that would never happen in real life, but them she felt the hacker's arms tighten around her waist, and in that moment she realized not only that it was real, but that it would also happen lots of times.
"You-you kissed me," Buffy whispered, still trying to catch her breath.
For a few seconds Willow just stood there, without saying a thing, until she finally raised her head and said, softly. "Yeah, yeah I did. And I've being wanting to do that for a long time." The moment she felt Buffy's lips moving against hers she knew that she had not been alone, that the love she felt for her best friend wasn't one-sided like she had thought until a few minutes ago. She didn't know why, but for some reason that kiss proved that all these things she had being feeling, that all these reactions that her best friend was stirring within her were also being stirred inside her best friend, being stirred by her. That knowledge gave her confidence to tell Buffy the truth, the entire truth. The look of shock that had fallen upon The Slayer's face when Willow told her that she had being wanting her for a long time was quickly replaced by one of comprehension when she looked in her friends eyes. In Willow's eye, Buffy saw love, and not just the friendly love they had been hidden behind all this time, but real, true love. The kind of love you find only once in a lifetime and that goes on forever, even when memories are all that we have left. Willow loved her, Buffy Summers, and she loved Willow.
They kissed for a long time before they decided to go back to their dorm, not only as best friends, but as a mix of everything. They had the best of all worlds , and knew it. To some people a kiss is just a kiss, a simple contact of lips, but to these two it was something far more important. It was the beginning of their life, a life they would live together, forever, even if forever ends tomorrow. When they got to the dorm they went on with their plans for the night. The food was ordered, the movie on the screen, but if you ever ask any of them what they ate or which movies they saw that night they probably won't be able to answer. They had better things to do and a lot of time to catch up.