Author: ocean gazer: email@example.com
Date: Oct. 2K
Rating: overall R
Category: oh just slightly experimental (X-Men meets SG1)
Pairing: Sam and Janet
Summary: When Carter and Fraiser find that they are not quite
themselves, nor are they in any place they recognize, they realize
that they can rely only on each other.
Archive: Alt. Reality and Pink Rabbit, yes. Others please ask.
Disclaimer: donít own any of Ďem; just borrowing to feed my
poor starving imagination. They belong to a whole gob of other
wonderful and tolerant folks. I do this for love, not money; I
welcome any of the charactersí owners to steal rather than sue.
Warning: my knowledge of X-Men is based solely on the movie, and I
took a lot of poetic license with that. If you are a serious
devotee, this story will likely annoy you. An additional warning:
there is some inter-SG1 violence that could prove unsettling. I
cheerfully admit to having done no research on any of these
Notes: this story is dedicated to Phil, for giving me the idea in
the first place <and for being a wonderful cheerleader>.
| Part 1 | Part 2 |
Sam rolled cautiously onto her side, trying hard not to disturb the
sleeping form curled up close to her. She had been trying to fall asleep
with no success, despite her exhaustion, and she hoped that a change in
position would do the trick. The figure beside her stirred briefly, but
remained layered in slumber as Sam finally got herself settled.
Sam looked across the bed to find Janet staring at her bemusedly. The
doctor was also on her side and wide-awake. One of Janetís hands rubbed
gently at Cassieís back; Cassie sighed in her sleep and snuggled closer
"As hyper as sheís been all day, why is it that sheís asleep
and weíre awake?" Janetís whisper held equal parts irony and
Sam smiled at that. It had, indeed, been a joyful homecoming. Sheíd
practically had to pull Cassie off the ceiling. The girl had barely
allowed either woman to leave her sight for something as simple as
"Iím a little worried about her," Sam confessed. "She
seems awfully clingyÖwanting to sleep with both of us andÖ"
She broke off as Janet reached out over her daughterís head to run a
gentle finger along Samís jaw. "Sheíll be fine. This is just her
way of reassuring herself that us being home is not just a dream. Believe
me, she will be fine."
Sam nodded, then reached up to trace over Janetís finger with one of
her own. "How about you, Janet? Are you going to be fine?"
Janet scooted closer to Cassie, so that she wasnít straining to reach
Sam. She pulled her hand away from Samís face to let it lie lightly on
Samís waist. For her part, Sam reached over and stroked Janetís cheek
and neck before letting her hand mimic Janetís. Sam looked down to
reassure herself that Cassie was still soundly asleep underneath the
bridge of their arms.
Janet sighed, very softly. "Iíll be ok eventually. I donít
like the feeling that someoneís been messing with our heads."
Samís response came in the form of a mirthless laugh. "Iím
still furious that it was our own Research team that did this. I donít
put it past Maybourne, but I just canít believe that other officers let
this happen. Itís like some sick joke."
Janet ran her hand very lightly along the curve of Samís hip.
"Good thing you arenít really Wolverine," she teased. "I
wouldnít want to try explaining to Matthews how I got claw marks along
Sam felt her anger fade as Janetís words sank in, and she ran her
hand along Janetís side and up to her face. Caressing Janetís cheek,
she said with a smile, "Well, like you said, Iím not really the
Janet sighed again and pressed her face against Samís hand. Sam felt
her breath catch in her throat, awed by the simple gesture.
Janetís eyes grew thoughtful as she regarded Sam. "Are you going
to be ok?"
Sam offered a half-smile. "Eventually," she echoed Janet.
"Iím feeling a little like I need to hibernate for a while, and
take some time away to get to where I feel a little more able to trust
Janet moved her hand up to cup the side of Samís face. "I know
just what you mean. Iím not feeling very trusting myself. And youíre
welcome to stay here as long as you likeÖwe can hibernate
Sam licked her lips and blinked back a sudden wave of longing. The
words were out of her mouth before she even was aware of their presence.
"God, Iíd love nothing more than to be here with you."
Janet levered herself up on an elbow and stretched cautiously over the
top of Cassieís slight form. She pressed her lips to Samís cheek, to
the tip of Samís nose, and finally let them linger on Samís forehead.
Sinking back down onto her side, Janet offered, "And I would love to
have you here with me."
Sam looked down again at Cassie, who was dead to the world for all
intents and purposes. She looked back up into Janetís warm brown eyes,
and just let herself stare into the liquid gaze. Time slowed down, or
maybe ceased to exist all together, as they hung in the shared lookóthe
kind that sees far into the soul.
Cassie broke the intense gaze by turning in her sleep to cuddle against
Janet. Janet exhaled a shaky breath as she looked down at her daughter.
"Wow," was all she could whisper.
Sam swallowed hard, trying to tamp down some of the feelings rushing
through her. She was very conscious of the low throb of arousal pulsing in
time with her heartbeat. She caught Janetís gaze again, and could see
the flame of desire burning in the brown eyes.
"Where do we go from here?"
It was a simple question on Janetís lips, but the seriousness of
it--in context of the reality of their lives--gave each word the weight of
a soliloquy. Janet looked away from Samís searching gaze, as if she
feared the answer.
Sam reached out and tilted Janetís head up. "All I know,"
Sam said, her words quiet and careful, "is that given the nightmare
weíve endured, we deserve to have some happiness." She broke off
and smiled at the sudden influx of hope scrolling across the doctorís
Janet captured Samís hand in her own, and pressed both hands against
her face. "Just being with you makes me happy."
Sam offered a light laugh. "Likewise. You know, Janet, I never
knew you were soÖ"
Janet stuck out her tongue and then yawned. Sam felt her own eyelids
Sam patted Janetís face and disentangled her hand from Janetís
grip. "We really should get some sleep."
Janet responded by lying down and yawning again. Sam followed suit and
closed her eyes. It was as if the need for the conversation had been the
only thing keeping them awake.
As she began to drift into sleep, Sam heard Janet whisper, "This
certainly gives new meaning to the phrase Ďwe finally slept togetherí."
Sam fell asleep chuckling.
It had been an eventful few days. There were the psych evaluations and
then official statements about their experiences. And there were seemingly
endless medical tests, checking to see if the machines had caused any
residual damage. (Even Janetís patience with her staff had given out
after a couple days.)
Finally, the General put a stop to what Janet had begun calling
"our days as virtual reality poster children." He reminded them
again that he was glad they were back and then promptly sent them away for
a weekís leave.
Sam lay back against the arm of Janetís couch, a beer in one hand,
and the tvís remote control in the other. Cassie had gone to bed half an
hour before, and Janet was in the kitchen, talking to a friend on the
Sam found herself amazed by the fact that no matter how many channels
she flipped through, she could find nothing to watch. Then she found
herself amazed by the fact that she had been searching fruitlessly since
Cass went to bed. She hit the off button, laughing at herself.
Janet walked into the room, plopping down on the opposite end of the
couch from Sam, a glass of wine in her hand. "Whatís so
"Iíve turned into the Colonel," Sam announced with more
than a touch of mockery. Janet shrugged her incomprehension; Sam waved the
remote in the air to illustrate.
"Well, Sam, if youíre bored, thereís plenty of other things
you could do," Janet offered, as if Sam were no older than Cassie.
"Well, the bathroom needs to be cleaned and thereís still
laundry to fold andÖ" She broke off as Sam stuck out her lower lip
and pouted. "Oh, you wanted something fun to do."
Sam fought to contain her amusement; continuing to pout. She liked this
side of Janetóa teasing side she rarely saw. As an officer, Janet was
tough as nails and stubborn as ivy roots, and as a doctor, she was gentle
and warm. For some odd reason, they didnít share a whole lot of laughs
in the SGC.
Janet set her glass down and moved closer to Sam. She leaned over and
pressed her lips against Samísóand Sam lost any thoughts of continued
pouting. The touch was light and tentative, and could still be considered
Janet pulled back, her cheeks pink and Sam took a slow breath. "Is
that fun, Sam?" Janet asked, her voice low and husky with emotion.
"It would be, if I wasnít scared out of my mind," Sam
whispered in a rush of honesty.
Janet raised an elegant eyebrow. "If itís any consolation, Iím
Sam exhaled sharply and stroked a gentle path through Janetís bangs.
"We havenít crossed over any lines yet. Weíre still standing
firmly on the side of friendship. We can stay friends without anything to
haunt us later."
A serious expression etched itself across Janetís face. "TrueÖbut
that wouldnít change how either of us feels, would it? Weíd still know
there is something else there. I donít know about you, but the knowledge
would probably haunt me more than usÖexperimenting."
Sam kept her fingers busy in Janetís hair, mulling over the truth of
her words. "We could end up losing everything, Janet," she
observed quietly, not able to meet the doctorís eyes. "Even a
simple kiss could get us both booted out of the military."
She felt Janetís finger on the tip of her chin as the other woman
coaxed her head up. Sam met Janetís eyes and saw the flash of anger
burning in them. "And this is the same military that Maybourne works
for, whose superiors just condoned putting us through hell. Letís not
forget that little point. It might just be worth getting kicked out."
Samís breath caught in her throat at Janetís words. She sat up
straight and took Janetís face in both her hands. "You canít be
The brunette smiled briefly. "Not entirely. Iím just saying that
this virtual reality thing has kind of made me wonder whether my career is
worth sacrificing my personal life for."
The sharp edge of concern knifing through Samís heart must have been
evident on her face, because Janet reached out to caress Samís cheek.
"No, Sam, Iím not ready to throw everything away, and Iíd never
ask you to do that. Iím just saying that I am less concerned with future
and intangible consequences than I am with being happy right now. But if
you donít wantÖ"
Samís response came in the form of placing a brief kiss to Janetís
temple. "I do want," she clarified softly. "I just want to
make sure weíve really thought about this."
Janet laughed aloud at that. "No wonder you never go out on any
dates. Thinking things out in advance is not precisely the stuff of
Samís laugh echoed Janetís. She opened her mouth to make a clever
reply, but was forestalled as Janetís lips met hers. Unlike the earlier
kiss, this one walked clearly over the line of friendship. Lips meshed
together, tongues darted out to briefly explore, and arms looped tightly
Samís heart was pounding in her chest and her whole body was on fire.
Something tugged at the back of her mind, even as she tightened her grip
on Janet. Suddenly, with a gasp, Sam pulled away from the kiss.
She couldnít miss the hurt look Janet sent her. "Sam, what is
it; did I do something wrong?"
Sam untangled herself from Janet, but grabbed tightly to the doctorís
hand. Her eyes darted frantically around the living room.
Her voice sounded distant to her own ears as she absently reassured
Janet, "No, youíre fine. Itís just that thereís someone else
Janet reached out and physically turned Sam, forcing the blonde to meet
her eyes. Her tone was brusque with anxiety. "What do you mean Ďthereís
someone else hereí?"
Sam swallowed hard, forcing herself to meet Janetís gaze, even though
she felt other eyes watching them. "I mean thereís someone else
here, and it isnít Cassie."
Janet took hold of Samís shoulders and shook her. Hard.
"Dammit, Sam, donít you do this to me. Donít freak out on me.
Get yourself under controlóyouíre suffering from post-traumatic stress
syndrome. Thereís no one else here."
Sam wrenched herself from out of the restraining hands. She grabbed
Janetís wrists. "Listen to me, Janet. Thereís a Goaíuld here
somewhere close by."
Sam felt the cold hand of fear pressing down on her, and she watched
helpless as her fear translated to Janet.
The doctorís voice held an edge of panic as she tried to speak
logically. "Sam, thatís not possible. How could a Goaíuld get
through the Stargate, then out of the SGC, and then find us here? And why?
I mean, I trust yourÖinstincts, butÖ"
Sam sat perfectly still for the span of a heartbeat, willing herself to
stop sensing the presence of a Goaíuld. It didnít work. She still had
the same feeling she had every time Tealíc and his larval Goaíuld were
present, one of the "gifts" Jolinar had left her.
"Oh my God," Sam breathed as an awful thought occurred to
her. "Janet, we never got out of virtual reality."
Their eyes met and the realization hit them both with its truth.
"I mean, if it really was Maybourne and his crew, we escaped too
easily," began Sam.
"And there was no one monitoring our responses while we were in
"And it still doesnít feel like weíve been missing for a monthÖ."
"And the way they found us was too much of a coincidenceÖ."
"And thereís no reason to think mutant humans would be able to
fight the Goaíuld any better than the rest of us; weíve already done a
lot of damage to themÖ."
Janet had another observation on the tip of her tongue, when the world
disappeared in a flash of light.
Samís scream was torn from her involuntarily; she heard Janet cry out
Blinking rapidly, Sam came back into the world, struggling to focus her
eyes and her thoughts. She tried to lift a hand and found she was strapped
tightly to a chair of sorts. She managed a glance to the side and saw
Janet in a similar predicament. There was a metallic device haloing Janetís
head, which appeared to be Goaíuld technology. From the feel of pressure
on her own head, Sam concluded she also sported one.
Sam looked quickly around the room. White-coated technicians monitored
various machines; guards stood near the door; and a man with glowing eyes
that broadcast his species as well as his anger stood glowering over the
He shot a warning look at Sam before stalking away to converse with a
couple of the techs.
Sam took a closer look, relatively speaking, at the guards.
"Janet," she blurted out, "thatís SG-8."
Janet, too, examined them. "What the hell is going on here?"
As if in response to her question, the Goaíuld snapped out a series
of commands. Techs came over to release Sam and Janet from their bonds,
while the guards leveled their weapons at the very confused women.
Another series of order had the guards pulling Sam and Janet from their
seats, roughly pushing them to follow in the Goaíuldís wake as he led
them to a cell. Without ceremony, they were shoved into a rough-hewn cell
with enough force to knock them both to the ground. The door was locked
and Sam and Janet were left alone.
Sam was the first to rise, clambering to her feet and going to examine
the door. She gave an experimental shove, and groaned as she managed to
cause a nice bruise on her shoulder. She turned back to Janet, griping,
"Ok, so the head wound was virtual but now Iíve dislocated my
shoulder. This is not one of my better missions."
Janet rolled her eyes. "Sam, trust me. You didnít dislocate
"A fine doctor you are. You havenít even examined me."
Janet chose to ignore that comment, instead observing. "So you
remember we were on a mission?"
Sam stared at Janet and said with an air of surprise. "Yeah, I do.
We had been doing a chemical analysis on an artifact that SG-8 found. They
wanted us to go planet-side to do further study, and when we got there,
there was no sign of SG-8 and then something hit me from behindÖ"
Janetís voice brimmed with satisfaction. "I remember the same
thing." She looked around their prison and then walked over to Sam,
and her voice grew pensive. "But how do we know this isnít just
another virtual setting?"
Sam put a light hand on Janetís shoulder, and said quietly, "We
donít know for certain. But this makes a certain degree of sense that
the other situations have lacked."
She was about to say more, when the Goaíuld slammed open the cell
door. He strode in, with his guards close behind.
His voice echoed off the walls. "You will answer my questions. How
did you know of my presence? You seemed unaware of me at other stages of
this test; how did you know me and know you had not yet reached your
Sam mouthed a barely audible, "Tealíc," to Janet.
Janet nodded, understanding all that Sam was not saying. She hadnít
sensed his presence before, because he had worn the form of Tealíc; Sam
had just assumed that her sensing of a Goaíuld was the Tealícís
Sam threw out a statement, hoping to somehow distract their captor.
"You arenít a regular system lord. You donít even have an army of
The Goaíuld held up his hand, and Sam winced as she recognized the
torture device. She fell hard to the ground as a wave of pain coursed
Following the apparently universal code that seems to require villains
to confide their plans to their captives, the Goaíuld spoke haughtily.
"You are fools. I have more power than you could dare contemplate.
My powerful mind can make the puny minds of your species see things that
are not real. I have been exiled from my people, spent decades away from
the System Lords, plotting my revenge.
"They have been unable to conquer your planet with force. I will
conquer it through illusion. And when I do what no other Goaíuld has
done, when I conquer your world, I will take my long overdue place as one
of the System Lords.
"These comrades of yours do not even see you; you are seen as
alien while I am seen as their hero. You have been my final test, to watch
you continue in illusion when you believed yourselves free of it."
Sam struggled to her feet, Janetís hand under her elbow.
"Give me the information I require and you will live a comfortable
life as my prize prisoners. Refuse meÖ." He let the threat lie
Janet murmured in Samís ear, "Heís been in exile. He doesnít
know. We canít tell him, canít let him know."
Sam shuddered, but nodded. He didnít know she had been Jolinar, didnít
know she could sense a Goaíuld presence. And oddly enough, that lack of
knowledge convinced her this was real. He thought she had beaten the
illusion, and as long as he thought that, there was a chance that Earth
could stay safe from him.
She shared a long look with Janet, seeing in the doctorís eyes the
memory of their last experience with the torture device, seeing in Janetís
sad gaze the knowledge that they were signing their own death warrant.
The Goaíuld was growing impatient. "Tell me," he commanded,
and Sam shook her head.
The energy hit her, sending agony through every nerve in her body. She
fought the pain as best she could, collapsing as he smiled and released
She shook her head, and a cry of torment ripped from her throat. The
pain overwhelmed her and she wanted to tell him, wanted nothing more than
for the pain to stop. But somewhere at the edge of the blaze that was her
body, she heard a whisper, a soft voice calling her name, and she
remembered Janet and tried to be strong for Janet, if for no one else.
The release from the pain was so sudden that Sam gasped with its
absence. She found herself on her back, limbs trembling.
The Goaíuld smiled again, an utterly sadistic smile. "If you
will not tell me for your own sake, perhaps you will tell me for
And then Sam heard Janet cry out as the device was turned on her. The
doctor collapsed, convulsing under the energy pulse and Sam felt the rage
flush her body with a strength she didnít know she had.
She got to her hands and knees, waiting for the room to stop spinning,
and watching helpless as Janet writhed in pain. Then Sam exploded onto her
feet, launching herself at their torturer. He swung the device back on
her, but by then she had knocked him off balance so that they tumbled to
the floor in a messy heap.
She fought hard to get her hand up and wrest the device out of his
grip. He fought her tooth and nail, and only sheer desperation gave her
the upper hand. With an elbow to his neck, she got the leverage she needed
to pry the device from his fingers.
She felt her shoulder pulled out of joint, but that pain was minorócomparatively
speakingóand without conscious thought, she pulled the device onto her
own hand. It came to life and the Goaíuld released his hold on her with
a sudden curse.
"You are primitives. The device should not work for you." His
voice trembled with horror.
Sam held the device towards him, and the energy shot into his body and
he cried out. She felt a surge of satisfaction as he collapsed, and then
felt a surge of nausea that she would be capable of torturing someone.
She pulled her hand back, and jerked in surprise as gunshots sounded
close to her ear. The Goaíuldís body twitched as round after round of
ammunition hit him. Sam ducked instinctively until the shots ceased. She
studied the Goaíuld for a moment, and realized he was dead. She then
turned to see SG-8 behind her, with fury and bloodlust written across
"That fucking bastardÖtricked us into thinking he was on our
Sam stared dazed at the men, and one turned sheepish eyes on her.
"Honest, we didnít know it was you he was hurting. Had some damn
illusion in place. Didnít see what was really happening until you turned
that thing on him and he collapsed."
"Of course," Sam whispered to herself. "He lost his
Sam forced her thoughts back to the present. "Itís ok," she
reassured the soldiers automatically, not knowing if it was anything close
to the truth.
Janet suddenly appeared at Samís side, having crawled over on hands
and knees. Janet reached out a trembling hand and held tightly to the back
of Samís shirt. Sam, for her part, grabbed hold of the doctorís pant
Janet looked up at the cell door, where a set of shadows appeared.
"Oh God, not again," she whispered, burying her head against Samís
Sam couldnít resist a grim laugh as OíNeill and Tealíc stepped
into the room.
"Something funny here, Carter?" OíNeill snapped.
Sam managed a shaky, "Itís gonna be a hell of a de-briefing,
It had, indeed, been a hell of a de-briefing. Sam felt an unnerving
sense of deja-vu as she and Janet ran through their stories for General
Hammond and the members of SG-1.
The main thing that reminded Sam that this was not simply a repeat of
an earlier performance was the setting. They were in one of the recovery
rooms in the infirmary, since both Sam and Janet were confined to the
infirmary for continued treatment of the physical after-effects of their
In truth, Sam really didnít feel up to a de-briefing: she had managed
to get quite a nice concussion during her fight with the Goaíuld, and
both her head and her injured shoulder throbbed mercilessly. She spared a
glance to the bed beside her and noted that Janet looked about as
uninspired as she herself felt. It wasnít surprising, really, since the
de-briefing had already been going on for more than an hour.
"I understand the reason you were not aware of the Goaíuldís
presence, Major Carter, but I am still confused as to why he was unable to
sense that you have been a host. Other Goaíuldís weíve run across
are able to sense that from you." General Hammond raised his eyebrows
in a question mark as he spoke.
Sam chewed her lower lip, pondering an answer. She had been wondering
the same thing, and had a theory, but the pounding of her head made it
hard to really think things through. "Well, Sir, Iím not really
sure. I mean, he was running two separate tests at the same time.
"The one on us was the virtual reality to see if we could separate
reality from illusion. But he was also using the power of his mind to
create an entirely different illusion for SG-8, to refine his own
abilities in preparation for his plan to conquer Earth. The best answer I
can come up with is that his mental abilities were limited by the energy
needed to create the illusion SG-8 was caught in."
She glanced once again at Janet, this time looking for the doctorís
reaction to her theory. Janet returned the gaze and gave a weak nod of the
head in agreement. "Projecting an illusion on that scale would
definitely have limited his ability to read you clearly."
Sam looked back at the General, and anticipating Hammondís next
question, said, "And as for why we didnít fall under the same
illusion as SG-8Öwell, he needed to know why we were able to realize we
were in virtual reality. If he had simply manipulated our minds into his
illusion, the responses he got to his questions might have been suspect
becauseÖwellÖthey wouldnít have been reactions to the true
Sam broke off as she realized in frustration that she simply could not
clarify the subject any further. She gave an exasperated sigh and turned
once again to look at Janet. The other woman sighed in response and Sam
saw her own exhaustion mirrored on Janetís face.
The General noticed the fatigue in the shared glance and his voice grew
softer than usual. "I am sorry to have put you both through this, but
youíve been missing for over a week and I needed to know what happened
to you and SG-8. And given the initial reports of Colonelís team, I wasnít
quite sure I should trust in the information given to us by SG-8."
Sam seized on two words of his sentence. "One week? Thatís all
the time weíve been gone?"
She stared hard at Janet, ignoring OíNeillís acerbic response.
The doctor sighed quietly and spoke in a low voice. "That sure
feels about right."
"Doctor? Major?" Hammondís voice held just the barest hint
Sam exhaled sharply, wincing as her headache protested. "Well,
Sir, the time frame feels right. In the last de-briefingÖtheÖumÖwellÖvirtual
oneÖwhen youÖwhenÖthey said weíd been gone for a month, it just
didnít feel right."
Janetís words sounded smooth and stubborn. "Sir, you have to
remember that we are still not quite sure what exactly is real; this
setting may be just another illusion."
There was an awkward pause while OíNeill and Daniel exchanged
uncomfortable glances, and Hammondís brows knit in concerned lines.
Sam and Janet simply waited, both of them watching the others. Sam
wanted to say more, but knew she didnít have the right words. And she
knew that there was nothing anyone could say that would convince her
entirely that this reality was real. She was 99% certain; but there was no
way mere words could fill in that one little suspicious spot.
And then Tealícís calm, simple words broke into the air. "You
know that you are both real. Given time, you will come to realize this of
us as well. Until that time, you will have to rely upon each other, as
there is nothing we can offer in the way of proof or persuasion."
Sam felt a profound sense of relief, knowing that one of her teammates
understood her inability to trust in her perceptions.
She smiled briefly at the Jaffa and he inclined his head slightly in
Doctor Matthews chose that moment to enter the room and say casually,
"Ok folks, this party is over. My patients need some rest and
anything else is going to have to wait, unless itís a crucial matter
along the lines of thermo-nuclear Armageddon." He fixed the General
with a stern look. "I thought you were going to keep this
He was met by a stereo-glare from OíNeill and Hammond, and Sam bit
back her smile as Matthews faced them obliviously. Sensitivity to emotions
(not to mention protocol) was not one of the manís strong suits. She
glanced over to see the ghost of a grin on Janetís lips.
Hammond broke the glare and conceded defeat. "Weíre actually
done here," he announced. "Iíll check in with you tomorrow and
weíll tie up the loose ends."
He and the rest of SG-1 paused on their way out the door to tell the
women how glad they were to have them home. Tealíc, oddly enough, was
last in line.
"I do not believe they yet understand your position," he
offered without preamble. "I will ensure that they realize the
implications of your experience."
Before either woman could even formulate a response, he disappeared out
Matthews clucked his tongue like a mother hen as he regarded his
patients. "Should have kicked them out of here, Janet," he said
in a mild tone. "You know neither one of you was ready for
Sam could hear the defensive note in Janetís voice. "What
exactly should I have done? Iím not in a very convincing position here,
and the information we gave them was fairly important."
Silence reigned as Matthews did brief exams of each woman, checked
their IV units, and then walked over to the door.
He shot a measuring look at Janet. "I know you just wanted to get
the de-briefing over with," he stated calmly, "but in my
opinion, taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally is a
little more important than strict adherence to military protocol.
"Iíll bring in a phone shortly so you can call Cassie and talk
to her for a while. She knows sheíll have to wait to see you, and she
understands, but I know youíll want to say hi. And then after that,
doctorís orders, no visitors and no phone calls. You both need to get
some rest; that torture device does some nasty work."
As he left, Sam turned to find Janet watching her with wide eyes.
"Odd little lecture," the brunette breathed. "Seems to echo
the shades of our last private conversation."
Sam nodded slightly, and then regretted it as her head began pounding
more fiercely. "For what itís worth, I think his lecture was just
coincidence, not another test. I really feel like weíre back home this
time." She reached up with her good arm and massaged her temple
Janet shrugged slightly and then sagged back against her pillows.
"Well, like Tealíc said, we just have to rely on each other."
Sam let her arm drop back down and smiled at the words. She felt a wave
of affection wash over her at the warmth in the brunetteís beautiful
"You know, Janet, if I have to keep walking through this
uncertainty, Iíd rather do it with you than with anyone else."
Janet laughed aloud at that. "And you said I was sappy."
The re-arrival of Matthews with a cell phone stifled any retort Sam
might have made.
Sam groaned as she practically fell onto Janetís couch. She lay back
and set her feet on top of the coffee table. Sam didnít bother to look
at the brunette, similarly situated on the other end of the couch as she
closed her eyes and said, "This has been the longest week of my
Janetís voice hummed with exhaustion. "Possibly the longest one
in the history of humankind."
Sam sighed deeply. "Maybe even the history of the universe."
Sam groaned again, mentally replaying the whole week. Janet had been
released from the infirmary after two days, but Sam had remained captive
for four days. There were seemingly endless medical tests to study the
effects of the torture, including a visit by Martouf to use new Tokíra
technology in an attempt to speed the recovery of the women.
It had proven useless on non-blended humans, but Sam was pleased
nonetheless because it had healed her concussion and her shoulder injury.
Both women felt pretty much back to normal physically, but Matthews was
still acting as if they were china plates.
And then there was de-briefing after de-briefing after de-briefing.
Each time, there was a whole new set of faces, higher up in military
command than the last set. Sam had grown extremely bored with repeating
the same story over and over.
General Hammond had finally called an end to the madness earlier in the
day, and had sent Sam and Janet on official leave for two weeks. He had
also, at Tealícís prompting, arranged for Tealíc, Daniel, and OíNeill
to take leave at the same time and take Cassie on a camping trip. Janet
had protested, but Cassie was eager to go.
The girl had been ecstatic at their homecoming, but she wasóafter allóa
teenager. And one of the seemingly universal teen traits was to separate
from parents at every opportunity. Janet had finally given in.
Before they left, Tealíc had taken a moment to speak to Sam and
Janet. "Perhaps when we return, you will have had sufficient time and
space to realize you have truly arrived home."
At their somewhat off-guard "thank you", he had inclined his
head in acknowledgment and walked out the door.
Cassie had lingered to say--in her most grown-up voice, "Try to
get some rest, and donít worry about stuff. I love you guys; see you in
two weeks!" She had raced after Tealíc, leaving two very bemused
women in her wake.
Sam wrenched her thoughts back to the present as she heard Janet offer
a profound sigh. Sam opened her eyes to regard the doctor. Janetís eyes
remained closed, and Sam noticed the fatigue lines on her face.
She wrestled herself into a sitting position, and pulled Janetís feet
from the coffee table into her lap. The brunette opened one eye in
surprise, then closed it again as Sam began kneading a sock-clad foot.
They sat in a comfortable silence, punctuated only by Janetís
occasional soft sighs of pleasure. Sam smiled as she watched the other
woman relaxing under her touch.
Finally Sam broke the silence open. "Um, Janet, can I ask you
Janet forced one eye open, regarded Sam for a moment, and then opened
both eyes. "Youíve got that serious look on your face again. Whatís
Sam licked her lips. "Thereís something Iíve just got to know.
If you donít think I make a good Wolverine, then who do you see me
Janet sat up straight on the couch, her brown eyes sparkling with
amusement. Laughing, she managed to spit out, "Youíre still
thinking about that?"
Her laughter proved infectious, and Sam found herself hit with a
serious case of the giggles. She tried to speak, but only laughed harder.
Janet wiped her eyes on her shirtsleeve, and then reached out to pat
Samís shoulder clumsily. "Oh hon, I think we definitely needed
Sam nodded, wiping her own eyes, and Janet scooted closer to the
blonde, until she was practically sitting in Samís lap.
Janet reached out a hand and cupped Samís cheek, stroking gently. Her
tone was sincere, though her eyes still twinkled merrily. "You would
make a good Professor. Calm, confident, and way too smart for his own
Sam stared into Janetís eyes, suddenly finding that it was very hard
to breathe. Her heart pounded wildly in her rib cage at the closeness of
the other woman, and she said the first thing that came into her head,
trying to distance herself somehow from her reactions.
"Wouldnít that kind of mess up your neat little love
Janet laughed again, but this time the sound was low and husky, and Sam
exhaled quickly at the seductive sound. "Yeah, but thatís ok. I was
going to drop Cyclops and Wolverine anywayÖdonít have much in common
with either of them."
Sam chuckled and ran her hand lightly across Janetís shoulder blade.
The doctor leaned in and kissed the tip of Samís nose, then dropped down
to press against her lips. Sam brought her hand up to the back of Janetís
neck, and held the doctor close as they kissed, picking up where theyíd
left off before.
After a moment, Sam broke away and breathed, "Nice."
Janet let her hand trail from Samís cheek down her neck, coming to
rest in the hollow of the blondeís throat. "Very nice," she
Sam stroked Janetís neck as she asked quietly, "Are we really
ready to do this? Are we ready to risk this going any farther?"
Janet sighed and fanned her fingers against Samís chest. "Sam,
you are the only thing I know for sure is real. You are the only thing I
can hold onto, and right now thatís a lot more important to me than
"Weíve been through hell together; I think we deserve a little
piece of heaven."
Sam didnít bother to answer with words. She captured Janetís lips
with her own, her kiss hungry and eager. Janetís mouth opened beneath
hers, and Sam responded in kind. She felt the tentative push of Janetís
tongue into her mouth.
Lips and tongues danced together in a blaze of desire. Sam let her
hands circle around Janetís small frame, stroking the small of the
brunetteís back before sliding lower to caress gentle curves. Janetís
hands dropped lower on Samís chest, finding the swell of aroused breasts
through the blondeís sweatshirt.
Sam groaned through the kiss as Janetís hands knowingly teased
hardened nipples, and she brought her own hands around to slide along the
plane of Janetís stomach. Janet gasped in pleasure and Samís lips
tightened against her mouth.
And then Janet broke the kiss, her breath coming hard.
"Bedroom?" she panted.
Sam could see the burn of arousal in the brown eyes and she shivered at
the intensity of the desire pulsing in her own veins. Not able to speak,
Sam simply nodded, and in one quick motion, Janet rose gracefully to her
feet and pulled Sam with her.
Sam kept hold of Janetís hand as she followed the shorter woman, and
in the doorway leading out of the living room, she paused and pulled Janet
back to her, kissing her again. Janet put her arms around Sam and walked
backwards, still locked in the kiss, bringing Sam with her.
It wasnít the graceful scene depicted in movies; Janet bumped into
the hallway wall more than once, and when they stumbled into Janetís
room, Sam somehow ended up banging her arm hard against the dresser. But
neither woman cared, their awareness focused on the passion binding them
At the foot of the bed, Janet pulled her mouth away and pushed Sam
back, her eyes sliding over Samís form. Sam stood still, embarrassed by
the scrutiny, and then Janet reached out and tugged at the bottom of Samís
sweatshirt. Sam started to take the garment off, but Janet swatted her
Janetís voice throbbed with arousal. "Donít. I want to do
Sam swallowed hard as Janet began peeling her shirt off. The doctorís
movements were slow and Sam could feel every nerve ending burn where Janetís
fingers came in contact with her body. The shirt was pulled over Samís
head and then Janetís fingers dropped to the front of Samís jeans, and
she slowly, teasingly, stripped Sam out of her pants.
Sam shivered with a sudden sense of vulnerability as she stood in bra
and underwear in front of Janet. Janet looked up into her eyes, and kissed
"God, Sam. Youíre incredible."
And then Janetís hands came up, teasing Samís breasts through the
thin material of her bra. Sam groaned low in her throat at the sure touch
of the doctor, and then in one smooth motion, her breasts were exposed.
Janetís tongue darted out to paint each hard nipple, and then she let
her attention wander down to the last piece of clothing covering Samís
Sam felt her knees go weak as Janet stroked lightly against the thin
barrier of her underwear, her body overwhelmed by just how good Janetís
touch felt. And then Janet stripped her out of the material, leaving Sam
completely breathless with the erotic combination of desire and
"Itís been a long time since youíve been with someone, hasnít
The blonde swallowed hard and simply nodded, suddenly embarrassed.
Janet kissed her again, and whispered, "No reason to be
embarrassed. I feel pretty special that you trust me enough to be with me.
Iíll take good care of you."
She pulled away from Sam, pushing Sam down to sit on the bed. Sam
watched in awe as Janet removed her own clothes, amazed that this
wonderful woman wanted to be with her, amazed at the way Janet was taking
the lead. Sam was a take-charge officer, but she had always been fairly
shy when it came to love, and Janet seemed to know that instinctively.
And then Janet stood naked before Sam, her eyes flashing with heat. Sam
reached out a trembling hand to lightly dust the pale skin of Janetís
stomach. "Oh, Janet," she breathed, "You are so
Sam wanted to say more, but then Janet walked over to the bed and
crawled into the middle of it, reaching out to pull Sam close to her.
Janet pushed Sam back, until Sam was lying with her head cradled in the
pillows. Janet hovered over Sam, leaning her head down to kiss Sam.
Their mouths meshed together and hands reached out in exploration.
Nerve endings blazed with fire at the feel of skin on skin.
And then Janet moved her mouth away from Samís, trailing her lips
down Samís throat, her tongue flickering out against Samís tender
flesh. Sam gasped, "Janet?"
Janet sent one hand to rest possessively on Samís stomach.
"Trust me, Sam."
Sam nodded and then lost herself in sensation as Janetís mouth moved
lower to create wet pathways across her breasts. Lips and tongue teased,
and Sam felt her body tensing with need. Janetís teeth lightly nipped at
the hard tip of one breast, and Sam gave an aroused groan.
She tangled one hand in Janetís hair, and reached up with the other
to clutch tightly at one of the pillows under her head. Janet bit down
again, harder this time, one hand bracing her weight as she hovered over
Samís body, the other dancing lower and lower on Samís abdomen.
Sam arched her back as Janetís mouth worked magic on her body. Janetís
mouth followed the path traced by her fingers, and then she shifted
position. Janet gently pushed Samís legs apart, settling herself between
the spread thighs. Sam briefly stiffened with tension, momentarily scared
of the intimacy, but then she relaxed when Janet turned concerned eyes on
Sam saw understanding in Janetís reassuring smile, and Janetís
touch was impossibly gentle as she reached out with a single finger to
trace the folds of Samís most intimate flesh.
Samís breath came in quick gasps, as the doctorís touch grew
bolder. Her whole body throbbed with desire as Janet bent down, her tongue
searching for the center of Samís arousal, her fingers sliding softly
into Samís wet depths.
Sam writhed under the exquisite touch, absently aware that she had
never felt this way with anyone before. Just the feel of Janetís breath
against her hot flesh was producing sensations that Sam had never known
And then Sam arched and cried out as Janet sent her over the cliff edge
into a sea of pleasure. She floated for perhaps an eternity, aware only of
the thrilling waves washing through her.
She came down from the high slowly, to find Janet lying beside her, a
satisfied glow on the other womanís face. Samís limbs felt like they
were made out of rubber, but she managed to turn and catch Janet in a
Sam could hear the quaver of emotion as she spoke. "God, Janet,
that was incredible."
The doctorís voice was tender, but dripped amusement. "Like
that, did you?"
Sam kissed her again. "You know I did." She paused to search
for words. "No one has ever touched me like that before, and I donít
just mean physically. Iíve never beenÖsoÖopen with anyone
Janet smoothed sweat soaked hair off of Samís forehead. "I know
just what you mean. Iím not usually so bold, butÖ" She let her
words blend into the warmth of Samís mouth. "I wanted to show you
how much I care about youÖ"
Sam turned neatly, pressing Janet underneath her own body, letting her
hand walk down the front of Janetís body. "I want to show you the
same thing," she offered in a whisper, "but Iíve never been
with a woman beforeÖ"
Janet cut her off. "Donít worry, itíll be fun to teach
They both giggled, and then Sam followed Janetís earlier lead,
beginning to kiss her way down Janetís body, feeling her own excitement
grow as she felt Janetís body respond to her touch. Sam lightly kissed
each of Janetís hard nipples, and then looked up to meet the other womanís
"You know, Jan, I donít even care if weíve made it back to our
own reality, as long as I get to spend the next two weeks alone with
Janet reached down to ruffle blonde hair. "I appreciate the
sentiment, hon, but youíre getting way too sappy on me."
Any further criticism was lost in a pleased gasp as Sam bit down
lightly on a tender spot.
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